My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
