If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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