First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
we should paint friendship bongs
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
