i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If that was your dad, he is hot
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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