you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
