I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
