it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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