You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize