I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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