you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
