her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just invented taco cereal.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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