so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need a beard to bite.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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