Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't turn off my feet"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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