Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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