My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
