I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
