I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
