Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Your dad touched me again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
