New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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