I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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