Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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