forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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