is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
