It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
