You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
