We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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