I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
