My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
