Dual....:-)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
