there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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