Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize