i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
