Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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