I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
