He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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