i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
