she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
