it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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