Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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