i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
