If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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