it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
