It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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