So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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