road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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