'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
