i permit you to call me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
