it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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