Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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