She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
