Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
