this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize