You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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