I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
