worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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