If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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