yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
