real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
