Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize