I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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