you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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