She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
